.Lady Stardust.

...till you come to me...

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 04:32:29 GMT

"...there are no words that could describe how i miss you, and i miss you every day..."

wow,
so it's harder getting over someone than i thought.
i've let him go mostly,
but occasionally there are moments when...
i feel like, a piece of me is missing.

:-/
one day my prince will come...

gosh.

Mon, 09 May 2005 05:23:39 GMT

gosh,
i out-nerd you all.

ps: life is beautiful.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 22:36:15 GMT

bah. updating...

so what can i say?
welllll... it's been awhile and a lot has happened. i've discovered some things about myself, and some things about others... this is what has been happening lately in my life...

uhm, let's see...
last nite my stepdad kicked me out of his house, so i probably won't be living with my mom anymore... which fucks up my highschool career, cos if i have to live with my dad i have no way of getting to school in the morning... mmm i hope something works out... i'm pretty sure i'm done living at my moms though, i go crazy whenever i'm there, it's like, i don't feel at home... and then some.. but whatever, i'm not complaining... life throws turns at you, and you just have to go with it. maybe this will be the start of a new adventure...?

oh, and i've given up a lot of the shitty things in my life.
over summer was the first time i did drugs, and then back in the winter i started using cocaine... uggh. and i kept at it for awhile. it's an expensive habbit, and a horrible one... and i've given that up, because i just don't need more shit in my life. i don't need some substance in order to feel alive or to be happy or to have fun. i haven't touched annnnnnny addictive substance in what, a month or so? i must say i'm super proud of myself... mmm yep.

so what else is new? well, not a lot. just catching up with old friends, and trying to make new ones. i've decided that no matter how hard it is to try and keep up with friends and stay in touch with them all, in the long run, it's worth it... and for anybody reading this that i know, i'm sorry if it's been too long since we got together...

i've been, busy, so to speak, but still that's no excuse...

enough of my blather though.
cheers.

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 06:09:26 GMT

i got a hair cut. and dye.
new photos to come.

to all my sexification buddies, sorry if i've been not posting or adding to the site lately... i've been dreadfully busy.

xox.

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 03:49:09 GMT

.life is beautiful.

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 22:33:28 GMT

mm.
i've found my escape.
summer 06 i am moving to texas.

the living arrangements are already made,
just me and my heterosexual life partner will be living together.
20 minutes from dallas. 10 from fort worth.
a few acres of land on the property we'll be living on,
and lots of freedom.
and colleges nearby for classes.

i love life when you have things to look forward to.
and dallas is a fun town, even though texas weather is fucking humid and nasty.
oh well.
life is still good.

mm. met a hot boy last nite. <3

.shooting them would be beneficial.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 08:33:26 GMT

I have to say that shooting certain boys would benefit all female life.

But anyway.
My weekend was mostly wasted.

Friday... went to the Underground and hung out there til like... 9:30-10ish.. Then Laura picked me up and we drove around for a bit, talked about life, took some vicodin, and then decided to go downtown to Hard Rock and get some food. Got to Sacto at like... 11... then went to Hard Rock til 11:30 and then drove around and got lost by St. Francis HS. Called Janessa, cos she goes there, and she told us how to get home... Got home around 1 and myspaced around for ten minutes or so, then decided sleep would be nice. Vicodin makes you warm and fuzzy :)

Uhm... Saturday... didn't really do anything. My gal pal came over around 10:30, and we were up all nite (til 5 am) being camera whores. Some very awesome glamour shots to come ;)

Hmm. Sunday. Slept all day, took a bath, thought about life and a certain stupid ass boy, and decided to watch the Osbournes for a bit. Some marathon or something going on... :-p

Life is so exciting. Ugh. Have some homework to finish up tomorrow and then a play audition at 4... Super nervous/excited about that. I hope I do alright. We shall see...

Anyway... off to sleep or something of the like.

ciaociao.
katy.

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 00:25:33 GMT

damn.
anyone know how to cut photos to a 150x150 size?
i'm so bad at this.
any and all help will be highly appreciated.
<3

.people are people.

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 07:43:38 GMT

mmm. fool around buddies are fun.
but.
if i met the right one.
i'd give it up in a heartbeat.
until then.
i shall have fun.
with my two little love bunnies!
hah.

la la la.

so bored tonite.
i took a nap and now can't sleep.
tried to work on my speech, but alas, writers block is killer.

xoxo.
katy.

things i'm thankful for:
-the rain
-bandaids
-hair dye
-nice people

my gorgeous tattoo.

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 23:54:05 GMT

mm. got this in august? sept? of 2004.

xox.

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 23:17:22 GMT

got bored last nite again, so went camera happy...

cheeky cheeky naughty sneaky...

play auditions at at davis for beauty and the beast next monday. i am nervous/excited. :)

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 10:40:19 GMT

new photos. i was bored.

Things I am thankful for:
-space heaters
-friends
-nice boys that make you realise how stupid the dumb ones are

.they just remind me of your shining bright eyes.

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 07:56:08 GMT

.i'm empty and aching and i don't know why.

lonesome.

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 06:51:07 GMT

Crappy nite. Don't want to talk about it.
I'm just so lonely.

xo.
k.b.

Things I'm thankful for:
-nailpolish.

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 06:45:06 GMT

Wow. So, today was... a mixture of things.

Emotions running wild, but not necessarily in a bad way. I dealt with unintentional heartbreak in a good way (he doesn't know what I feel, so it's not his fault,) no tears or anything... I entered a speech contest through school (weird, i know, extracurricular activities...) and I had my first hug from a Del Campo buddy (you have no idea how much this means to me.)

So, things sort of suck in some aspects, but that's alright. I'll deal. I finally have some goals and things to work for, and that excites me.

This summer, for instance, I am looking into this drama school programme that runs for a month, nearby hollywood. That should be exciting if I get to go. Also, I am thinking of joining a drama troupe. ANNNNND! I think I know what I want to do with my life... and since I'm graduating come may or june, I will get to start out a year earlier then everyone else. This is exciting.

It's hard for me to feel so sad right now when I have all these amazing things going. I will survive though, and you know what, there are other boys out there. I just, I don't know, I hate having crushes cos' then I get so caught up in them and when the don't work out (99% of the time) it's a low blow to my self esteem. I mean, I already have this idea formed in my head that I'm the most unattractive girl alive, and stuff like this makes it ten times worse. *Sigh* oh well. Ob-la dee ob-la di, life goes one...

Xoxo,
Katy.

Things I am thankful for:
-Blankets
-good books
-little sisters
-life

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 06:14:29 GMT

Eeeeurgh.

nice noise of disgust, eh?

David, my guy friend, is pestering me about my sex life!! Lol. It's kind of funny, slightly embarrassing to be talking about that sort of thing with him... considering I sort of regard him as... not a brother exactly, but... uhm... i don't look at him in a sexual way at all. Lol.

So, I still feel totally out of place at Del Campo. I've never felt more out of place or self concious as I do in that place. It makes me sad, because generally I'm a pretty outgoing person... Ugh. And I feel like I can't be myself there, or in this town for that matter.

I have big dreams, maybe superficial and silly to some, but they're mine and I love them. I will get out of here one day, and then I'll send you all a parting photo and you'll think of how much you wished you could have known me. No, that's not a suicidal thought, so don't get the wrong impression. I could be so much more than this...

Soon... soon...

xoxo,
katy.

Things I am thankful for:
-queer eye for the straight guy
-heaters
-clean, drinkable water
-my own thoughts/dreams

.glittering guises.

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 14:03:33 GMT

couldn't sleep, so am writing in this blasted thing.

the holidays are over. bah, humbug. i've left a couple of my coats and long sleeved shirts at my dads house, so i'm sort of screwed on that level. i wonder what i'll wear today :-p

ugh.

bought some clothes and things last nite. two very glamourous scarves for nicoles glam rock party, and for every day life too. two pairs of pants, lovelovelove them already, a belt (bought it in the guys section cos they had a MUCH better selection) and some undergarments.

shopping really is so much fun.

am going thrifting with my brother to find the other odds and ends for the glam rock party. i want some cool old jewelry as well. i need a brooch for my scarf.

off to shower.

xoxo,
katy.

things i am thankful for:
-the ability to buy nice things
-sleep
-apple juice
-thrift shops

.every me and every you.

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 03:31:39 GMT

Last nite was a total bomb. I ended up going out after my sad angry post, but was no fun.

I am just as empty and lonely as I was the day before, and somehow that's not surprising. I had the best day with my lovely friend Garrett, though. IT was super fun. We went on a "hike" and had a picnic under a nearby bridge. Then we decided it was cold so we laid under the wet blanket and Garrett fell asleep. Lol. He woke up to some crappy latin-y/techno-ish song. It was fun.

I shouldn't have been so upset last nite, I just can't help but feel sometimes like I'm a complete and utter... loser? I don't know. I have friends, I suppose, and yet... I am so alone sometimes. Eh...

In anycase, straying away from that retarded topic...

In February I am going to a HIM concert, and that's not the best news of it. The Weekend before, my brothers girlfriend is having a birthday party (in oakland) and it's theme is... dun dun dunnnn. GLAM ROCK! I get to give my brother a david bowie makeover. This is truly so exciting. We already have a coat and belt and pants picked out... we need shoes and a tshirt... and lots of makeup!!! The best part of it is he's invited me to come along as well! Which means, yes folks, I finally have an excuse to get all glammed up. :-)

That and I'll get to get out of town for a full weekend. :)

*Sigh*

Still confused about a boy problem. Ugh. He's in LA for the remainder of the weekend, however, so I needn't worry about that for a day or two. Then he'll either call or we'll talk on line or we'll go out and things will get confusing again. I only wish emotions and love were as cute and story book as they are in the movies, unfortunately, they're confusing and stupid and... ldjdskl nfkdnh who knows.

in any case...

Need to get my photos developed from downtown. I think there's some good ones in there.

xoxo,
Katy.

things I am thankful for:
-music
-a roof over my head when it's raining
-orange juice

.let's ban it.

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 06:50:11 GMT

Holidays fucking suck. Family. Alcohol. Alone-ness.

I hate it. hate hate hate it. I am alone once more. I was supposed to hang out with a certain fellow that I've been messing around with, but he ended up in LA, and so I went to the Underground with my lovely Garrett, but that ended earlier than planned cos some fucking stupid bands didn't show up.

Ugh.

My friend Janessa is going to pick me up in a lil bit, so hopefully the nite won't be too... dismal. I really hate holidays though. I hate having to spend time with family, or my non exsistant boyfriend or girlfriend, hate all the stupid fucks out there having a good time whilst I am miserable.

Ugh.
ugh.
ugh!!!

Here I am complaining again. This. Sucks. I will not complain anymore, I will not complain. I really have a good life, and it's only one nite. I will not complain.

The death toll is past 120,000 on the Tsunami disaster. People are dead, and yet I find something as trivial and petty as GODDAMN NEW YEARS EVE to fucking complain about. See how superficial I am? I will shut up now.

war,
Katy.

Things I am thankful for:
-life
-eye make up
-good friends
-picnics under bridges
-ibuprofren for my blasted headache.

.bruise pristine.

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 09:06:50 GMT

So, this is my first entry on this I suppose.

I am listening to Placebo right now, which is a good thing. I had a good nite tonite. Got to think about some things, walk around in the rain, see an old friend, visit downtown.

I am in a somewhat confused and sad mood, but life is good anyways.

I complain all the time, and I can't help but berate myself for that. IT's like, there are so many much worse off then I am, for example... the recent Tsunami? Ugh. I hate that I have it so good and yet I still find things to complain about. That's not why I'm sad though. Not tonite at least.

Certain songs and thoughts have a way of putting you in a certain state of mind. But all will be well in the end. It's funny how art and life can move you like that. Funny how I can cry over a silly song, and yet I can't bring myself to tears over the 100,000 that have died in this recent tragedy (tsunami.) This isn't supposed to be such an 'upbeat' post... but you know how life is.

Well, I think I shall end this before I succumb to the pressure and become 'emo.'

xoxo,
Katy

Things I am thankful for:
-Soy Milk
-Garrett
-Beautiful nites
-The privacy of my mind